{Off Topic} 14 Realistic Cast Disney Princesses!

Yesterday I stumbled across an article called 13 Perfectly Cast Disney Princesses and the first thing I saw on the page was a poorly edited Emma Watson with fiery red hair and blue eyes next to a photo of Ariel, the Little Mermaid. I love Emma Watson don't get me wrong, but I can't help but cringe at the idea of a witty, mostly-serious and shy-looking actor to play the part of Ariel who's bubbly, friendly and sassy.

So, I took it upon myself to re-create the entire post with more characters.

And yes, I'm taking this WAY too seriously.



Enjoy! -Ash

Emma Stone as Anna

Jane Levy as Ariel 

Ashley Greene as Aurora

 Lea Michele as Belle (hey that rhymed)

Michelle Williams as Cinderella 

Kirsten Dunst as Elsa

Emmanuelle Chriqui as Jasmine

Sophie Turner as Merida

Zhang Ziyi as Mulan

 Freida Pinto as Pocahantas 

AnnaSophia Robb as Rapunzel 

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White

Zoe Saldana as Tiana

Julianne Hough as Tinker Bell

You're a bad parent.

I need to say something. It’s been on my mind for a few days now and I can’t go on with life until I write about it. Right now, my two-and-a-half-year-old is napping and my hubby is out with friends on a photography expedition.

I’ve been waiting for the right moment to start writing about this and now its finally here.  A quiet house,  a hot cup of tea and some time to get this all out in the open is what I really need this week but even more so, I need mothers parents to read this and fully understand where I am coming from.

Lets go back to pre-parenthood.
Before my husband was a father and I was a mother, I thought we had this whole parenting thing in the bag.  I imagined that my hubby and I would agree on everything pertaining to our little guy and that our parenting styles would be completely the same. We spent my entire pregnancy in a worry-free state and told each other that it was going to be painless. Why was parenting made out to be so hard? It looked so easy to us.

Fast forward two years later.

I wish I still thought that parenting was easy. Before you get the wrong idea, let me just explain that my son is one of the most well behaved toddlers I’ve ever known. He’s sweet, careful, and smart and everyone loves him so much. It’s not him that makes parenting hard. It’s everyone else.

So back to what I was getting at earlier with the whole “I need to say it” thing.

What I have to say is that you’re a bad parent. Don’t get mad, I’m a bad parent too.   Since I’ve had my first born, others seem to have magically become experts in the field of raising kids and let me know when they feel like I’m not doing it right. For the record, there is a difference between helping another parent and just bashing them because they feel entitled to do so. Most choices I’ve made about parenting are criticized or at the very least mocked by others who believe they have influence on how we raise our son.  

1. When I breastfed my newborn son, it was weird and taboo to feed my child from my own body.

2. When I switched to formula after not being able to produce enough milk on my own, I was shamed because formula wasn’t as nutritional as breast milk.

3. When we agreed not to baptize our son, well… you know how that one goes.

4. When we started liquid food, we were being pretentious by only feeding him organic, homemade baby food.  

5. When we started solid food, we were being ridiculous and overbearing because we wouldn’t let our nine-month old eat French fries. 

6. When we started cloth diapering to reduce our carbon footprint and keep unnecessary chemicals away from our baby’s ass, we were gross for washing our own diapers at home.

7. When I talked about the idea of circumcision and how I believed it was wrong to mutilate a perfect baby boy, I was told that I shouldn’t have any more children.

8. When we bought our son a kitchen for Christmas, we were mocked by naysayers who suggested that it was a ‘girls toy’ and that we should have bought him something more masculine.

....and the list goes on.  

Well, here’s my newsflash for those who had nasty things to say about my parenting.

If you have children in the house still, don’t let anyone get in the way of your parenting but also don’t get in the way of others parenting too (aka my nice way of saying 'get out of my way').

If you have children who are out of the house, your job is not to parent children that aren’t yours. Instead, start learning how to parent your child in their new stages in life and act as their guides. They need you more than my child needs you.

If you don’t have any children, please just don’t criticize anyone about their parenting style. Just don’t. Also, please don’t ever compare your love for animals to the love that a parent has for their children.

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____________________________________________________

For every one of my instances, there is a totally opposite reaction. Even If I did listen to everyone’s opinions, I would still be wrong. I know that there are other parents out there who try their best only to be shut down by other people and these people could be anyone (especially behind a computer) so I want to them one more thing.

If you know you’re doing whatever you can to ensure your baby is safe, fed, healthy and happy, screw what everyone else thinks and keep doing your best. Let no one get in the way of raising your kids the way you feel is right as long as you know it’s the best way for you and your partner.

On the other hand - if you think you’re guilty of accidentally undermining someone else’s parenting, don’t apologize (or apologize, whatever) and just make sure you never do it again. We should be embracing fellow parents to follow their instincts and raise happy children, not belittling them by telling them they’re wrong and thus treating them like children, too.

-Ash

Child Modeling: 6 Things Parents Should Know

Every child is beautiful. I mean it. All children are beautiful… Tall ones, short ones, round ones, lanky ones, purple, green and friggin’ rainbow ones are all ridiculously beautiful because their eyes are full of wonder and their hearts are filled with innocence.

Now that I have your attention, I’ll cut to the chase.

We all know that our babies are beautiful, but what happens when a modeling agency thinks your kid won the genetic lottery and wants them to pursue a career in the fashion industry?
Well first of all, don’t fret. Here’s a handy little ole’ guideline for parents that need advice from someone in the business. Just a little warning, some of my advice may seem harsh but I promise that it’s all true.

How do I know such things? Well, I grew up in a pretty normal way, married parents, one sister, happy childhood (blah, blah, blah…) and I’ve always been tall and skinny. Growing up, everyone’s given me the advice that I should model. Fast forward to age 15- One day, I took a few self-portraits and sent them to an agency in New York City. Totally thought it was a long shot, but I got a response back and I was put on a plane a few weeks later and was signed with a great agency. They housed me, took care of me- all in the great Manhattan. I’ve done some pretty cool stuff, worked for some well-known companies, have been featured in magazines, etc. I’m 21 years old and still signed with this awesome agency.

Anywho, here’s my guideline:

1.)  The first rule of using a legitimate modeling/talent agency is NOT PAYING for modeling classes.

The biggest names to ever prance on a catwalk did not pay for classes to teach them how to do so. They simply learned on their own. When a modeling agency seeks a fit for their team, they pick their beauties with or without the rare talent of being photogenic or runway ready because they are the ones who shape their models. Any “agency” asking for money to pay for classes is a joke, NOT an agency.

2.)  Meet your friend, Google.

Conduct a thorough background check via Google on any agency/agent that may be interested in representing your child. Past employees will review the agencies and scam artists will be brought to light.

3.) A legitimate agency doesn’t make you pay out of pocket but takes out a percentage of every check.

That’s just how they make their money. My agency takes out 20% for every paycheck I receive through them. If you think their percentage rate is too high, look for other agencies.

4.)  They take forever to pay back.

Well, not forever but just about.  The average turn-around time for receiving a check from the agency is anywhere from 20-70 days. My agency’s standard is 30-60 days. I’m not too clear on why this is typical for many agencies, but its just the way it is. Don’t fight it.

5.) Don’t get butt-hurt over castings.

Your child will attend several castings for many companies. Guess what? Your child won’t get all of them. At every casting, there are directors who are looking for a certain something. That could be a certain hair texture, a certain eye color, a certain kind of personality- anything. So, don’t get butt-hurt (your feelings hurt) if your precious child doesn’t get a few castings. To think that your child is going to get every job out there is straight up unrealistic. Your child will get some jobs though.

6.) Agents will give critique.

I’ve been put into a bikini and had all of my flaws pointed out to me when I was as young as 16, but you should know that a toddler shouldn’t be forced to do the same. When an agent gives critique, let your inner momma bear take control- at such a young age, your kids can’t speak for themselves. Do it for them, voice out your concerns especially regarding their health and safety. Kids should always be kids. Don’t ever let anyone deprive them of the childhood they deserve.

Whether your kid is a sweet 2 year old or a sassy 10 year old, as a parent you should understand the basic ideas of working with a legitimate agency and deciding whether or not working with an agency is good for the sake of your child and family.

What questions do you have about child modeling? Would you allow your kid to model? Share your thoughts!

-Ash

What Non-Parents Want Us To Know + What Parents Want Them To Know

What non-parents want parents to know.

1.)Even though I’m nodding my head while you speak, I really don’t care how many poops your toddler has taken in his new potty chair. Did your cute pooping toddler squirt out some jellybeans too? Okay, now I care.

2.)Your kid is gluten free? What the hell is gluten? Is that a type of fish? I’ve never heard of this fish. I’ve just come to the vast conclusion that I’m gluten free also.

3.)Look, I completely understand what its like to have a few children running our lives on a day to day basis, but could you at least muster up a solid three minutes and put some effort into that hair? Jesus woman, looking like Mufasa up in here.

4.)Hey, your kid just drooled into my mouth- He’s cute and all, but I’m secretly trying not to freak out over these germs we’ve got going on over here…

5.)Being around your well-behaved kids make me feel like I want some of my own. When they act up, I take back that thought and pat myself on the back for not being pregnant.

*************************************************************************

What parents want non-parents to know.

1.)You care about my toddlers first poop adventures just as much as I care about your wild nights out. That’s fine. I don’t expect you to be as excited as I am when the munchkin drops a deuce in the toilet, but give me a break- we’ve worked really hard to get where we are today. Our hard work is shown off by a little nugget of poop that’s not confined in a diaper, and we feel like fucking rockstars.

2.)Although I’m flattered by your interest in my kids diet, you don’t really need to understand their lifestyle to get on with yours. Unless you’re in charge of feeding my kids anytime soon, don’t worry about what the munchkin is eating (unless you see him eating batteries, otherwise be very worried).

3.)Do you have children running your life on a daily basis? Neither do I. Do you think my kids wake me up every morning, make my coffee and take me to work? While the kiddos are in my possession, I’m the one running their lives. Doctors appointments, play dates, day care? All me. Oh, and do you know what could happen in three minutes? Yeah, my hair is just a little less important to me now.

4.) lol “germs”.

5.)You think you’re the only person who has ever said that? I used to make ignorant statements like that too, (I think most parents did) but I grew up and had a baby. Contrary to popular belief, my life isn’t over because I became a parent. My life just started. Maybe one day you’ll understand.

xoxo
-A

Die Laughing: Funny E-cards

xoxo
-A

Don't be intimidated: Cloth Diapering

When I first had my son two years ago, the thought of cloth diapering made me cringe.

All I could think about was endless amounts of laundry and theprobability of getting nastiness all over my hands with every diaper change. I also thought about CDing on the go or out in public and it all seemed too complex for a new mommy brain. I was turned off by the idea and ran straight to the disposable diaper section at Target. I used disposable diapers for the first four months of Max’s life, until I read some pretty disturbing facts about disposable dipes.

Did you know it is estimated that the U.S. consumes nearly 28 billion disposable diapers annually? Probably not, but this will baffle your mind even more: Disposable diapers are estimatedto decompose 250-500 years after its been thrown into a landfill. Pretty mind boggling right?

Even if the environmental impact doesn’t sway your decision, there are tons of other reasons to make the switch to CDingyour baby.

For babies with sensitive skin, a cloth diaper might be the solutionto a problematic rash. Think about all of the chemicals that are used to create one disposable diaper; dioxins, sodium polyacrylate, tributyl-tin, dyes, fragrances and other kinds of plastic. Personally, that’s too many chemicals I want against my baby’s butt.

Different dipes for different babies

If there’s one thing you need to know before you start buying cloth diapers, it’s that not all cloth diapers are the same. Finding the system that works best for your family is extremely important, so here I’ve demonstrated the basic types of diapers that I’ve owned and worked with, so that the process of choosing which systems to try out is easier for you.

Here we have 4 covers, 3 microfiber / hemp inserts, 2 wipes and 1 unbleached 

Indian cotton pre-fold.

In other words, 4 diapers and 2 wipes.

I know, it seems like a handful but its really not.  The covers (blue, green, red and purple) are what we’ll see on the baby’s butt. You can either use a pre-fold (above purple cover) or you can use inserts (right of green cover) to stuff into the diaper cover for absorbency.

The gDiaper

This is a diaper from a brand called gDiaper. These are the more mainstream of CD's (I bought these at Babies R’Us, but I’ve seen them at Target, too) and sell in packs of 2. Each diaper comes with a gCloth that’s just a hemp/microfiber insert that works as an absorbent layer for the baby.  It also comes with a snapped-in liner that holds the gCloth in place. The liner can be snapped out and interchanged with other gCloth diaper liner inserts, too. 

The diaper also fastens behind the baby, so that the ‘g’ is on the baby’s butt. 

This helps to keep the diaper on the baby, so that there’s no way they can take it off by themselves.  The liner, the cover and the insert can all be thrown in the wash when its time to clean the dipes.

Buy the gDiapers here.

The PreFold Diaper

This is a standard diaper cover I found on Amazon for under $10. Its called the Bummis Super lite, but any kind of diaper cover (with a polyurethane laminate inside to prevent leaking) will do. Here’s what it looks like inside:

To make this cover into a fully functioning diaper, we need to fill it with a pre-folded piece of cotton (unbleached and organic if possible).  I bought my prefolds at Cotton Babies for only a dollar a piece. 

There are many different folding techniques when using a prefold diaper so instead of demonstrating my folds, I chose my favorite link with the most information.

The Eco Friendly Family has awesome pictorials here (and they use a cutesy stuffed bear to demo, so you have to see it now).

**They also use a Snappi which is a rubbery device with claws that holds the prefold in place. Personally, my diaper covers were enough to keep the prefold in place so I didn’t need the Snappi. If you do need one though, they’re pretty inexpensive and you can find them online.

After you choose the fold that suits your baby, cover the prefold with the diaper cover, and you have a fully cloth-diapered kiddo. Also, depending on the fold, it might be more efficient to fold the prefolds in advance and place them in the covers, so that when its time to change a diaper, you don't have to fold anything.

The Pocket Diaper

What you are looking at is a diaper from Charlie Banana (get it here) the savior to my cloth diapering issues. This type of diaper is a hybrid of the two diapers that we’ve talked about. 

The first diaper had a liner system which has a moisture-wicking cloth inside.To clean the diaper, you have to completely remove the liner and replace it for another use. The second diaper consists of cotton that serves as the only absorbency and a laminated piece of material to prevent leaking.

The pocket diaper is a soft cover with a lining that’s sewed into itself to create a pocket. The inside of the diaper is usually a micro fleece that serves as a smooth, moisture wicking material so that your baby doesn’t feel wet when they are.

The front of the diaper includes snap-fasteners.  Compared to Velcro, these are probably better diapers for babies who might pick at the diapers or try to take them off.  

A great feature of the Charlie Banana brand is the sizable elastic straps around the legs. They’re similar to bra straps and size from a newborn XS (its so ridiculously small) to a toddler LG. These diapers could really last a long time. 

Using the pocket diaper is pretty simple. All you have to do is stuff the pocket with absorbent material and after the diaper is full, toss the diaper and the material into the washer. Its cake, really. These Charlie Banana diapers come with  I chose to stuff my diapers with hemp inserts because I felt that they worked best for my son. You can buy diaper inserts here 

or use the ones that come with your diapers. 

You can also use a ‘doubler’ which is just another layer of fabric 

underneath your insert for maximum protection. I used doublers at nighttime 

and hardly dealt with leaking diapers.

If you choose to buy cloth diapers online, I recommend a diaper cover/or pocket diaper that has a snapping fasteners with three or more rows of snaps. 

These diapers can be used on a small infant or a toddler. Here's a Kawaii diaper (one of my favorite dipes) that demonstrates how to use snaps for different sizes.

I promise to do a follow-up post on how to wash and maintain CD's! Until then, you have this guide to different CD's and systems. 

What other questions about CDing do you have?

xoxo

-A