An All Natural Water Birth Story {From one of our own!}

Dean Alphonse  entered this world on the morning of Tuesday, December 10, 2013 at Magnolia Birth Center, in Houston, TX.

This was my third pregnancy, and was thankfully un-eventful.

Our first son was born via "emergency" c-section in January, 2008, due to a failed induction for "big baby" at three days past his due date. In the year following his birth, I discovered ICAN, and decided that any future children I bore would be born vaginally, baring a TRUE medical necessity.

Three years later, we discovered we were expecting our second child, and my search for a VBAC provider began in earnest. Due to insurance restrictions (darn HMOs!), I was forced to find an OB and hospital that would allow me to give birth vaginally after a c-section. I was fortunate to give birth to our second son via hospital VBAC in September, 2011.

While I will always appreciate the fact I was able to give birth vaginally, I felt extreme anxiety and intimidation in the hospital setting. While most of the nurses were supportive of my choices, some were very unsupportive of my decision. The on-call OB was one I knew to be anti-VBAC, as well, though fortunately she did not try to force me into a repeat section. My OB approved birth plan was laughed at, so the experience was far more stressful than I had hoped for. I swore I would not have another hospital birth, if at all possible.

Within months of my hospital VBAC birth, a new birth center opened up on my side of town, and they allowed VBAC births in the center! I attended their grand opening, and decided that this was where I would give birth, if we were blessed with a third child. 

It didn't take long to take that opportunity... My VBAC son was 19 months old when we discovered baby number three was on his way! I contacted Magnolia Birth Center, and began making plans to give birth there. I felt immediately at ease with Aly, Patty and their support team!

My due date was set as December 17th, 2013, though I knew in my heart this baby would arrive about a week early. As the weeks passed, and we reached "term," I patiently waited for any sign of impending labor. At 37 weeks, I began having regular Braxton Hicks "practice" contractions throughout the day, every day.

On Monday, December 9th, I took a hot shower before bed, and my bag of waters broke, causing a trickle with mild contractions. I woke Ari up at midnight to let him know that my water had broken, and he called his parents to come over and stay with the boys while we made our way to the birth center. I called my doula, Sarah, and Patty at the birth center to let them know labor had begun. Patty asked me to come in so she could check my progress, and make sure my water had broken.

We arrived at about 1:30am, and my water started gushing as soon as I sat on the exam table; there was no doubt that my water bag had broken, and thankfully it was clear of meconium. I was only dilated to 1.5 cm, though, and at 2:00 am, I was sent home to eat, rest and labor through the night.

By the time we returned home, my clothes were soaked, so I returned to the shower once again. I labored in the bathroom for the rest of the night, drinking water and coconut water, but unable to eat food. Suddenly, labor became more intense, and my body started pushing with contractions. I had Ari call Patty and Sarah to tell them I was going back to the birth center at 5:00am, and we left the house once again.

We arrived at the birth center by 5:30, and I was still involuntarily pushing through contractions. Patty started filling the birth tub, and had me get onto the bed for a cervical check. I was 7-8cm dilated, and unable to stop my body from pushing with each contraction.

Around 6:30am, there was enough water filled, I was helped into the birth tub, and within three contractions, my son started crowning. I don't remember how many total pushes it took, nor do I have a concept of "how long" I pushed, but I know it didn't take long before his head was out. I had to flip onto "all fours" to get his shoulders out, but it did not take long to push the rest of him out once I was in the right position. **Weeks after writing this down, I discovered that Ari had videotaped the water birth. The pushing phase was under 10 minutes long.

Dean completed his journey at 6:55am, and was placed on my chest. I couldn't believe how quickly and peacefully he arrived! We were assisted to the bed, where we snuggled for a while, and let his cord return his much needed blood to his body. Ari cut the cord, and followed Aly as she performed his newborn assessment. Much to our surprise, Dean weighed in at 10lbs 3oz, and 22" long - our biggest baby, by far!

Patty and Sarah accompanied me, as I desperately wanted to shower. Once I cleaned up, I made my way to the area where Aly was finishing up the newborn assessment. Everyone laughed, and said they had not had a mother come out before to see part of the newborn assessment!

A little after 9:15, we began packing our bags to return home, so our two big boys could meet their baby brother.

I couldn't have asked for a better beginning to our new family of five!

-Angela

You're a bad parent.

I need to say something. It’s been on my mind for a few days now and I can’t go on with life until I write about it. Right now, my two-and-a-half-year-old is napping and my hubby is out with friends on a photography expedition.

I’ve been waiting for the right moment to start writing about this and now its finally here.  A quiet house,  a hot cup of tea and some time to get this all out in the open is what I really need this week but even more so, I need mothers parents to read this and fully understand where I am coming from.

Lets go back to pre-parenthood.
Before my husband was a father and I was a mother, I thought we had this whole parenting thing in the bag.  I imagined that my hubby and I would agree on everything pertaining to our little guy and that our parenting styles would be completely the same. We spent my entire pregnancy in a worry-free state and told each other that it was going to be painless. Why was parenting made out to be so hard? It looked so easy to us.

Fast forward two years later.

I wish I still thought that parenting was easy. Before you get the wrong idea, let me just explain that my son is one of the most well behaved toddlers I’ve ever known. He’s sweet, careful, and smart and everyone loves him so much. It’s not him that makes parenting hard. It’s everyone else.

So back to what I was getting at earlier with the whole “I need to say it” thing.

What I have to say is that you’re a bad parent. Don’t get mad, I’m a bad parent too.   Since I’ve had my first born, others seem to have magically become experts in the field of raising kids and let me know when they feel like I’m not doing it right. For the record, there is a difference between helping another parent and just bashing them because they feel entitled to do so. Most choices I’ve made about parenting are criticized or at the very least mocked by others who believe they have influence on how we raise our son.  

1. When I breastfed my newborn son, it was weird and taboo to feed my child from my own body.

2. When I switched to formula after not being able to produce enough milk on my own, I was shamed because formula wasn’t as nutritional as breast milk.

3. When we agreed not to baptize our son, well… you know how that one goes.

4. When we started liquid food, we were being pretentious by only feeding him organic, homemade baby food.  

5. When we started solid food, we were being ridiculous and overbearing because we wouldn’t let our nine-month old eat French fries. 

6. When we started cloth diapering to reduce our carbon footprint and keep unnecessary chemicals away from our baby’s ass, we were gross for washing our own diapers at home.

7. When I talked about the idea of circumcision and how I believed it was wrong to mutilate a perfect baby boy, I was told that I shouldn’t have any more children.

8. When we bought our son a kitchen for Christmas, we were mocked by naysayers who suggested that it was a ‘girls toy’ and that we should have bought him something more masculine.

....and the list goes on.  

Well, here’s my newsflash for those who had nasty things to say about my parenting.

If you have children in the house still, don’t let anyone get in the way of your parenting but also don’t get in the way of others parenting too (aka my nice way of saying 'get out of my way').

If you have children who are out of the house, your job is not to parent children that aren’t yours. Instead, start learning how to parent your child in their new stages in life and act as their guides. They need you more than my child needs you.

If you don’t have any children, please just don’t criticize anyone about their parenting style. Just don’t. Also, please don’t ever compare your love for animals to the love that a parent has for their children.

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For every one of my instances, there is a totally opposite reaction. Even If I did listen to everyone’s opinions, I would still be wrong. I know that there are other parents out there who try their best only to be shut down by other people and these people could be anyone (especially behind a computer) so I want to them one more thing.

If you know you’re doing whatever you can to ensure your baby is safe, fed, healthy and happy, screw what everyone else thinks and keep doing your best. Let no one get in the way of raising your kids the way you feel is right as long as you know it’s the best way for you and your partner.

On the other hand - if you think you’re guilty of accidentally undermining someone else’s parenting, don’t apologize (or apologize, whatever) and just make sure you never do it again. We should be embracing fellow parents to follow their instincts and raise happy children, not belittling them by telling them they’re wrong and thus treating them like children, too.

-Ash

The War Against SuperMoms

You’ve all probably seen the endless array of blogs, articles and forum discussions about new moms.  They usually have an incredibly original title such as ’5 Things New Mom’s Won’t Get Done’.  There are two things these articles all have in common. The first being a universal belief that our homes (and ourselves) will be, and should be, a disaster zone.

The most recent blog post I stumbled upon is titled "To My Post Partum Self: Things I Wish I'd Known" and of course, the author makes a couple fairly decent points. But I'm not here to point out the decent, but rather the ass backwards and annoying. To quote an excerpt from the post:

“Don’t clean.

Your house will still be messy in five years. I am sorry, but it’s true. So when your baby sleeps, take a nap. Read a book. Masturbate. Look at pictures of clean houses on Pinterest. Look at pictures of clean houses on Pinterest while you masturbate.  But don’t clean.”

As a new mom, you will usually be painted as a haggard, puke-covered mess who never leaves her disorderly house, doesn’t get any laundry finished, and never has time to make supper.  You will be told that anything else is unheard of.  You will be encouraged to look down upon ‘supermoms’ that seemingly ‘do it all’.  You’re told to ignore the dirty dishes, always nap when baby naps, and disregard basic hygiene.

Which brings me to my next point. This is another quote from the blog:

“Be a hater.
And those moms who appear to have it all together? The size six supermoms who appear perky and well-rested? The ones who haul big designer diaper bags brimming with healthy snacks and water and sunscreen and extra outfits and hand sanitizer? It is okay to wish them small misfortunes, like fecal incontinence or eye herpes.
You are on your way.”

What the actual fuck?  Why is it perfectly acceptable to despise a new mom who manages to clean? In this age of acceptance, how did we suddenly morph from the 1950’s expectation of a perfectly clean house, waxed eyebrows, and dinner on the table at five, to pure loathing?  Please don’t get me wrong; I don’t give a rats ass if your house isn’t picked up. I could honestly care less if there are dirty dishes in your sink, toys strewn from your bathroom to the living room, and laundry piles everywhere.  But since when should moms be looked down upon for cleaning? Is it just me, or is this completely the opposite of what we should be telling mothers to do?  Shouldn’t we be assuring women that whatever they manage to get accomplished with a miniature poop machine is JUST FINE? When did the apparent 'Supermom' become the target of abhorrence in the mom world? 

Now brace yourselves, because you’re going to hate me and wish eye herpes upon my dastardly soul: I am a mother to a 2 year old and a 3 month old, and my house isn’t dirty.  My laundry is clean and folded, dishes washed, floors vacuumed and frames dusted.  I run a cake decorating business out of my home.  I breastfeed exclusively, I puree my children’s baby food. I give them mostly healthy snacks and meals.  I feel well rested. And yes, science forbid, I even carry sunscreen, water, and extra outfits in my Coach brand bag. I don’t have a Pinterest account because seriously, the last thing I need is another online addiction.  I birthed my children naturally with a doula and midwife. I cook dinner almost every night. My children's designer clothes are organized by season and color. Holy shit… I even work out almost every morning. 

Go right ahead, hate me.  But before you do, I ask that you continue to read the rest of the post before wishing on me the ‘small misfortune’ of fecal incontinence.  

Because guess what? 99% of the time I feel completely and totally inadequate.  I see moms who do more than me.  I let the TV babysit my toddler when I have cakes to decorate, and often I am up until 3am working on Friday nights.  I don’t shower on a daily basis unless I have to leave my house.  I fall into my bed, exhausted, at 8:30pm so that maybe I will have the energy to work out in the morning because I’m FAR from a size 6.  I don’t always buy organic.  I breastfeed, cloth diaper, and make my own baby food for many reasons, but also because I’m CHEAP.  I buy my kids designer clothes second hand, and I shamelessly use coupon and rewards points. I only own two pairs of jeans that fit. I look well rested in the morning because I am, I have been given an awesome little baby who enjoys sleeping at night as much as I do.  I chose to endure the pain of natural birth because the thought of a cesarean scares the ever lovin' shit out of me and I'm a pansy. I scream into my pillow when my toddler pees on the kitchen table. My marriage is falling apart.

Sure, on the outside I look like I’ve got it all together.  I don’t.  I clean because it is a welcome distraction from everything else that is going to shit. I don't have an ulterior motive.

Now don’t you think that maybe, instead of shooting daggers at the women who ‘appear to have it all together’, you should start accepting that maybe you don’t know it all?  EVERY mother is fighting her own battles.  Instead of sneering at the mom in the park feeding her baby homemade food, you could consider that maybe she can’t afford expensive jarred baby food.  When you see that mom with the perfect hairstyle at the grocery store, instead of immediately wishing anal leakage on her, maybe bear in mind that she may have just had the only haircut she’s been able to manage in the last year.  Maybe you should tone down the note of disgust in your voice when you accuse your friend of being a 'supermom'. 

We are all working our asses off to make our children happy.  Some of us have different priorities, stress relief techniques, and habits. And that’s ok. 

We DO NOT have to be haters.

-Shalana

Removing Diaper Cream from Cloth Diapers

Rule #1 of cloth diapering is Do Not Use Diaper Cream. I didn't start putting cloth on my first daughter until she was about 20 months old, so I didn't know all the in's and out's of the correct process. When she started getting her two year molars she got a horrible, painful diaper rash. I of course, panicked and liberally applied Bourdeauxs Butt Paste. I assumed since I was using a rayon liner that it wouldn't be an issue. WRONG! The butt paste went through the liner and absorbed into the fleece and made them repel moisture. I tried stripping them with baking soda and vinegar, used Dawn dishwashing liquid in my washer, and rinsed them a countless amount of times. Nothing worked until I put in a little elbow grease.

The first step is to determine if the diapers are actually repelling moisture. Simply dripping water on them and watching it bead up doesn't necessarily mean they aren't absorbent anymore. With most pocket diapers (I use Alvas), you need to apply a little pressure as if the diaper is flush against babes bottom. If water still doesn't absorb easily you need to do some work on them!

You will need some blue Dawn dishwashing liquid, and a stiff brush. I used a nail brush which worked well, but you can use just about anything with stiff bristles.


Wet the diapers and squirt on a little Dawn. Then scrub the shit out of it! Don't be afraid to get nasty! (pun intended)  You'll need to scrub in all different directions, and don't be afraid of damaging the fleece on the diaper, you won't. After you've scrubbed, rinse the diaper as well as you can and wash like normal, adding a couple extra rinses to your cycle. Depending on the amount of grease from the diaper cream you may need to repeat this until the diaper is absorbent 
again. 

Remember to ALWAYS use a cloth diaper friendly rash cream, or coconut oil, with your cloth diapers! 

-Shalana

Tips from a Teacher: Keeping our Baby Birds Healthy

Children will soon see friends they missed over the summer. Parents will buy endless amounts of school supplies. New clothes will fill the closets, and school days will replace the summer sunshine.

The beginning of the school year engenders energy in our children, and we love to see our children happy. Unfortunately, mommies know the school year also means sick children. Let’s not only help our children be prepared for school but also prepared to fight illnesses. Maybe you are one of those moms who is one step ahead. I’d like to think I am, but I honestly feel like I am sliding on my belly like a penguin, rather than soaring above like an eagle. I’m a momma bird in charge of baby birds that will start day care next week, and I’d like to help my little chirping babies stay as healthy as possible in this nest. Although germs help build the immune system, recurrent illnesses weaken the immune system- rather than build a strong a immune system. If you haven’t heard of Briar Rose, then I recommend for you to pick some up for about $10 at a nearby health store, or order it online.

Depending on the age of the child, give the child a dose of 25 to 50 drops three times per day when the child begins the school year and continue through the first two months to help your child boost his or her immune system. “Then, Dr. Tetau recommends doing this 15 days each month through the rest of the school year to prevent recurrences” (Towle).

When one gets sick, ear, nose and throat seem to be attacked the most often. “Upper respiratory tract infections are typically present when school begins, following major holidays such as Thanksgiving & Christmas and then in the spring with the change in the weather” (Towle). The treatment protocol to overcome the infection is 25 to 50 drops three times per day for an adult, but my pediatrician recommends 10 drops mixed in a shot of water three times per day for my 1-year-old.

Briar Rose does not guarantee your child will not get sick. There are other precautions to help your child: wash his or her hands before eating a meal, keep your child home if he / she is running a fever without fever fighting medicine, limit sugars and processed foods, cook meals at home instead of eating out, and keep your child physically active.

Didn’t get enough?

• You can read the details on how to treat specific illnesses with Gemmotherapy:http://www.alifeexperience.net/articles/gemmotherapy_a_powerful_tool_by_towle.htm

• Check out this page for your specific ear, nose and throat issue to best help boost your immune system to overcome the illness more quickly:http://drfeder.com/?page=articles&action=viewArticle&articleID=22

It should also be pointed out that homeopathy is an FDA approved form of healing in the United States.

Works Cited: Towle, Daniel, D.C., DNBHE. "GEMMOTHERAPY:  A POWERFUL TOOL." GEMMOTHERAPY:  A POWERFUL TOOL. The Global Homeopathic Alliance, 2001. Web. 7 Jun. 2013.

xoxo

B