Best Friends I've Never Met

I used to have tons of friends. You know the ones, the

friends who would always be there for Monday night dance off, Tuesday night

BBQ, Wednesday night poker, thirsty Thursday at the club, TGIF at the Mexican

restaurant with fishbowl margaritas, Saturday floating the river with a gallon

of Sailor Jerry’s, and Sunday Funday with NFL at the sports bar and $1 beers

all day long (Go Pack Go!)

Life was great! Life was a constant adventure, meeting new

people, and discovering the absolute best way to stifle a hangover and be sure

I was somewhat productive at work the next day. I KNEW I had friends for life,

because the basis of friendship was obviously poker chips and shot glasses.

Duh.

Then came marriage. Then a move back to Podunk hell.  Then came a baby.

Everything changed.

My life no longer revolved around the drink of the week. I

wasn’t focused on the most secure way to strap a cooler to an inner tube.

Suddenly, I found myself glued to the computer, up to my hip waders in

information on vaccinations, homemade baby food, how to breathe in labor, and

staring at endless photos of ‘normal’ baby poop.  I became a homebody. The bottles sat on top of the fridge

collecting dust, and the friends I once heard from on a daily basis suddenly

fell off the face of the earth.

What the hell happened?

Motherhood happened. Becoming a mother automatically

initiates you into the largest club in the world. The friends you thought you

had shudder at the mention of 2am diaper changes and projectile vomiting. They

squirm uncomfortably at the sight of breastfeeding in public.

Thankfully, the friends I have had since school days (and managed to keep in touch with) have their own children and understand the

trials of being a parent. The problem is, life in Podunk has it’s own evil way

of keeping you at a distance. Literally. Who wants to drive 20 miles to BFE for

a play date? I was cut off from the world, with a husband who works 70 hours a

week and a midget poop machine who lacks the ability of intelligent

conversation.

Enter, the Internet.

But grandma told you to stay away from the Internet! Those

women you’re talking to on the mommy site are really sweaty, furry old men just

aching to kidnap and debase you! It’s true, because she saw it on 20/20.  Yet, the hunger for emotional contact

runs deep, and I decided it’s worth risking the debasement. What did I find? A

group of ladies who happen to be some of the most caring, funny, wonderful

women I have ever had the privilege to ‘meet’.

Wait, you can’t say that! You’ve never met them!

Ok, ok, ok. So what constitutes a ‘Friend’?  Does a friend always have to be

available with a hug and a latte (or bottle of wine) when you’re feeling blue? I don’t necessarily

think so. I have the biggest support system consisting of the most diverse

group of women from all over the world! What more can you ask for?  It’s unbelievable how much the social

protocol has changed in the last decade. 

What can be such a scary virtual universe has also made it possible for

bonds to be forged from America to Belize, and Australia to Canada.

These women get me! Most of them have seen a significant

decline in ‘friends’ after becoming mommies as well.  I can ask about a funny looking rash on my daughters bum and

get recommendations from a registered nurse. I can vent my frustrations about

my exasperating husband. I have the opportunity to learn about different

cultures, traditions, and lifestyles. We have watched our friends get married,

buy houses and have babies.  We’ve

been there for each other through the painful loss of sweet babies, husbands,

parents and brothers. We have offered advice, sentiment, and opinions. We’ve even

gotten into fights!  These women understand the unconditional love I have for my babies. They have helped me through some of the darkest days of my life, and I don't know what I would do without them. 

Yes, my life has changed. I have two unbelievably gorgeous little girls who call me mommy. And 107 women who have enriched my life in more ways than I could have ever imagined. 

Kudos,

Internet.